Guide2Bristol Petition: Bring Blackthorn BACK!

Guide2Bristol Petition: Bring Blackthorn BACK!

As Bristolians, we people of this noble city have suffered our fair share of injustice and hardship. Occupation by King Charles' Cavaliers, bombed during the Blitz, the failure of the Bristol Brabazon to take the world of commercial aviation by storm; all have been borne by Bristolians with the quiet, West Country stoicism for which we are justly famous. However, all these events pale in comparison to a venomous sleight that has been newly delivered upon our city in particular, and the West of England in general.

Gaymer Cider Company has changed the taste of Blackthorn Cider.

Indeed, for it is true.

The strong, crisp draft that has been like mother's milk for many a Bristolian from cradle to grave is, quite simply, no more. Never again will an honest workman slake his thirst after a day of mindless toil with the tangy bite of appley booze. Never again will a young mother be stirred by the joy of a golden sunset as it falls dappling across the Downs, filtered through the sparkling haze of a can of Somerset's finest.

This cannot stand. In the name of all that is proper Bristol, this cannot stand. Those of us schooled at the knee of Uncle Bruce will not accept this travesty. In the name of Richard Angwin, and all that is right and good, we declare war upon the corporate slicks of Gaymer Cider Company. War, and war of the worst kind - war of petition.

For hereby and forthwith, we at Guide2Bristol pin our colours to the mast of protest, and we shall not falter. We promise to lead the charge of all Bristol to the very gates of the email inbox of somebody at Gaymer again and again and again, until Blackthorn is reverted to its former glory, taste and potency. For Blackthorn is not a drink to be sampled by braying popinjays timid and sweet, in the perfumed lounges of London wine bars, with a squirt of aftershave at a pound a go. No! It is to be quaffed loud and strong in pubs with only one working tap (cold), by men and women who wear their shirt sleeves rolled, and whose eyes barely narrow at the bitter tang of The Thorn.

Join us, people of Bristol. Sign our petition and make your feelings known. For this is but the first volley in the war to dumb down our cider. It is your duty to stand proud, stand strong and stand free. For who amongst us will not shake with shame, having failed to raise our fists in protest, when our children's children know nothing but Woodpecker?

If you're not already a member at Guide2Bristol, sign up here to add your name and comment to this petition to get the great taste of Blackthorn back. We will deliver it to Gaymer Cider Company with the full backing of Guide2Bristol.

Follow us on twitter too!

Also, visit the facebook groups 'The New Bad Taste Of Blackthorn' and ‘I Want My Blackthorn Back!'

 
Posted by: Thorny Issue on 28 April 2009